Frugality For The Terrified
“To attain knowledge, add things every day. To attain wisdom, remove things every day.” Lao Tzu
You know you’d like to reduce your spending, review your cost of living and make do with less, but however much you think about it, nothing seems to spur you into action. What’s stopping you?
Being “frugal” – sparing, economical, careful – in itself doesn’t sound particularly enticing to most of us. It doesn’t appear to meet our needs for prosperity, security and meaning in our lives because of what we’ve been encouraged to believe about those qualities. Collective wisdom would tell us that prosperity, security and meaning are all met through having more: more money, a bigger home, a better car, the latest gadgets, insurance, a better job, more friends, a new or better partner, fame and fortune, status or qualifications.
Many of us spend a large part of our lives striving for these things. And the gossip columns in the media are either filled with tales of those who’ve “made it”, to entice us further, or those who’ve failed miserably, to remind us what will happen to us if we stop striving.
Frugality then seems to be part of the “what will happen to us if we stop striving”. No wonder it’s scary. No wonder that this thought stops us dead in our tracks whenever we attempt to reduce our spending and consumption.
On the contrary, I’d like to suggest that frugality is actually an alternative route to prosperity, security and meaning in our lives that does not involve the stresses of striving.
How does this work?
Overcoming Greed.
Both over spending and miserliness are driven by greed. Greed manifests in many ways:
• as our compulsion to reach for our wallets to buy our way out of the challenges in life(to appease our loved ones and impress our friends, to reward or comfort ourselves, to provide entertainment as a distraction)
• as our automatic consumption of food or drink, regardless of whether we are hungry or thirsty.
• as our reluctance to give to ourselves and others (money, time, love and affection, information, honesty).
• as our tendency to hoard.
Frugality is about facing up to our greedy tendencies and replacing them with generosity, gratitude and grace. Then, instead ofbuying our way out of challenges, we can give of our time, creativity, support and encouragement, to ourselves and to others.
Instead of overeating or resorting to alcohol, we can commit to being more aware of our nutrition and of our respect for our bodies, of finding joy in our health. Instead of hoarding, we can focus on creating and enjoying space and simplicity, of sharing with others as a way of connecting in community with them. We can learn to trust – ourselves, others, the universe.
Dispelling “Discipline”.
These replacements for our conditioned responses take time to practice. They are skills to work on and develop and, as such, call for our dedication and commitment. I find the word “discipline” a tricky one in this context as, for me, discipline points to someone else forcing me to do something I don’t want to. Also, there’s something rigid and regimental about it. However, frugality requires us to exercise some restraint over our impulses and to be aware of when we stray from our chosen path.
So, it is a kind of discipline, but one where we’re being self-observant, committed and open to a change of habits. I like to think of discipline as “being like a disciple” – a follower of a particular set of life-serving beliefs, on a well-defined path.
Reframing “Renunciation”
Frugality is also about learning to let go – of unhelpful habits and conditioning that compel us to over spend and over -consume, of some luxuries that we’re hoarding, of clutter and items we no longer need or use.
The spiritual practice of renunciation begins with this type of release. As with frugality, renunciation is not about deprivation, but about surrender of our attachment to material possessions. So, renunciation helps us to liberate ourselves from the unwholesome effects of the ego.
Enough is enough
What are we aiming for with frugality? Perhaps to discover what is “enough” for us – enough money, enough shelter, enough food and clothing, enough companionship, enough solitude, enough work, enough respect.
Frugality can be scary when we tell ourselves: “There’s not enough” or “I’m not enough”. Once we are aware of what is “enough” for us, the striving starts to lose its hold. Once we can accept in each moment that what we already have is enough, then the striving, and the stress associated with it, evaporates altogether.
Frugality, then, is the practice of being on that path between over consumption and miserliness. It’s a mature, wise, open and loving response to ourselves and to others, in recognition of the boundaries of material wealth and the abundance of love, creativity and possibility in the world.
August 10, 2010
Posted in: Ethical Shopping
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